“Log kya kahenge?” — What will people say?
It’s a phrase that echoes through generations of Pakistani families. It’s the voice of our collective community, a well-intentioned (but often misguided) force that pushes for conformity, quietness, and following the norm. While it often comes from a place of love and a desire for social acceptance, this constant pressure can become a heavy burden for a child trying to discover who they are.
As modern parents, our greatest challenge isn’t to silence the “log,” but to raise children whose own inner voice is louder and more confident than the whispers of others. Here’s how we can empower our kids to be resilient, confident, and unapologetically themselves.
1. Prioritize Connection Over Correction When your child does something unconventional, our first instinct, conditioned by “log kya kahenge,” might be to correct them immediately. Instead, try to connect with their intention first. If your son wants to wear a brightly coloured shirt to a somber event, instead of saying “You can’t wear that!”, ask, “You really love that shirt, don’t you? Tell me what you like about it.” Understanding their ‘why’ before setting a boundary makes them feel seen and respected.
2. Build Your Family’s Value System Have open conversations at home about what your family stands for. Is it kindness? Creativity? Courage? When your family has a strong, shared identity, the opinions of outsiders become less important. You can frame it as, “In our family, we value creativity, and that’s why we love your unique drawing style,” or “In our family, being kind is more important than being popular.”
3. Celebrate Their Unique Quirks The world will try to make them fit in. Your job is to celebrate what makes them stand out. Does your daughter love building complex structures with blocks instead of playing with dolls? Does your son prefer reading over cricket? Champion these interests! Give them the space and tools to explore their passions. This is a core belief at Orange. We design clothes that celebrate individuality. Our vibrant colors and playful designs, inspired by our creative mascot Yakee-um, are for kids who march to the beat of their own drum. True confidence is born from being loved for exactly who you are.
4. Give Them the Words Children often don’t know how to respond to nosy questions or backhanded compliments. Arm them with simple, polite phrases.
- For an unwanted comment on their appearance: “Thank you, I really like it!”
- For a question about their choices: “Because this is what I enjoy!”
- A simple, confident smile and changing the subject. This teaches them they don’t need to justify their choices to anyone.
5. Be Their Public Defender and Private Cheerleader Your reaction to public judgment is their most important lesson. If a relative comments on your child’s shyness, be ready with a positive and protective response like, “He’s a wonderful observer, he takes everything in.” When you are their safe space, the outside world becomes less intimidating. They learn that no matter what “people say,” their parent is, and always will be, their biggest fan.
Raising a confident child in our culture is an act of courage. It means choosing your child’s self-worth over the fleeting approval of others. But by doing so, you give them a gift that will last a lifetime: the unshakeable belief in themselves.
